Une vie aux étoiles

Deaf Culture Videos to Watch

Thu, 12 Mar 2020 23:29:33 GMT

Here's some great captioned videos I recommend folks watch to understand our community better:

Responding to hearing people who teach ASL wrong
About intersectionality
A music video with the cutest signing toddler ever (not captioned, still cute)

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Copied Posts

Tue, 17 Dec 2019 00:10:06 GMT

Just copied a few posts from elsenet over to here. This really is the only place with the actual privacy granularity I want. There's a few more things I kind of want to copy here, just to have all my writing in the same place, but that's enough for now.

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Double Packing

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:59:25 GMT

Twice this year, I’m going to pack for two trips at the same time. Somehow my work trips seem to coincide with my leisure trips.

Right now, I’m packing for the American Alliance of Museums conference in New Orleans (May 18–22), and my annual camping trip in rural Maryland (May 24–June 2). I have two suitcases sitting open at home, a carry-on and a full-size, and I’m considering myself lucky I don’t wear the same things at a work conference and on a camping trip. It is somewhat stretching my underwear and sock limits, though.

In just a few short months, I’ll be packing for a vacation trip to Ireland and the UK (August 13–23), and also a work trip to Kyoto (August 28–September 9) for the International Council of Museums conference. These will also not contain the same types of clothes, but they’ll probably both call for large suitcases. The vacation is with one of my partners, and the work trip is solo. Perhaps I can just pack everything into his suitcase.

I wish I were better at packing ; I tend to leave it all to the last minute. I am pleased with one change I made last year to my packing, though: I now have a toiletry bag (which I learned is also called a dopp kit). This makes it much easier to suitcase-hop — I can preload the clothes and just drop the toiletry bag in.

Alas, nothing will make the piles of laundry at the end any easier.

(originally posted elsenet, April 2019)

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Citizenship Conversation

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:57:52 GMT

On Thursday morning, one of the people I supervise at work became a U.S. citizen. It was a long, arduous process, so on the way in that morning I stopped to pick up a small gift for him in celebration.

I went to one of the stores I never go to in Union Station — America!, with the exclamation point, so as not to be confused with the America restaurant that was a few feet away…until it closed ten years ago.

Not having much need for American flag merchandise, political swag (for both sides), or DC souvenirs, I pretty much only go into America! during cherry blossom season, to see if they have any cool new designs for those souvenirs. They never do — so I don’t think I’ve ever actually shopped there, until Thursday morning. I needed to catch the shuttle for work, so I opted for the first thing I saw: a little teddy bear with stars-and-stripes feet and ears, wearing an American flag shirt. I brought it to the register, handed it to the black man behind the counter, and in my pre-work, pre-coffee, pride and excitement for my colleague, I opened my mouth.

“My assistant is becoming a citizen today," I said.

"Good for her for doing it the right way," the cashier replied.

I immediately regretted saying anything. As he continued ringing up my purchase, the cashier continued, “You know, I don’t like everything he does, but I think Trump is doing the right thing about immigration." I said nothing, ran my credit card as fast as humanly possible, mumbled my thanks, and darted off to catch the shuttle to the office.

Even though I have had several days to process it, this interaction still troubles me deeply on multiple levels.

First, my assistant is not a woman. He’s a cisgender man. (He’s also not the one who became a citizen, that’s a different staff member, but I wasn’t awake and used “assistant” generically.) He’s very good at his job, just as I am good at mine, because women can be managers and men can be assistants, and none of this has anything to do with gender.

Second, why did I feel safe speaking up? Did I see that the cashier was black and assume he would agree with my political views? Did I not realize the conversation was political, because I was just excited for a colleague? Did I just not have enough coffee and forget that any conversation before coffee is a bad idea?

Third, I am confused by a black man supporting Trump, even if it’s only on part of his policy. (Frankly, I’m confused by anyone supporting him, but that’s a different story.) There are Trump supporters who want black people killed, or at least kept in a constant position of inferiority and fear. The president himself would never say such things out loud, but I get the distinct feeling that he only cares about Lynne Patton because having a token black friend is handy when you’re a racist.

Eventually I’ll forget about the whole interaction. It wasn’t a big part of my day, and it won’t take up space in my brain for long. But for now, I sure wish I understood it better. If I were more of an extrovert, I might want to go back to the store and ask the cashier why he assumed my assistant’s gender, and why he supports someone who doesn’t like him because of his race. But I’m not an extrovert, and I don’t need to put myself into that situation. I’ll just remain puzzled for a while.

originally posted elsenet, May 2019

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Undocumented Citizens

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:54:52 GMT

I met Jose Antonio Vargas today — he was the final keynote speaker at the American Alliance of Museums conference, and his presentation blew me away. I haven’t bought a dead-tree book in a few years now, except for work and grad school, but the moment he left the stage I raced downstairs to buy his book and line up to have it signed.

His book is called Dear America,: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen — both the comma and the underline being essential parts of the title. The phrase we usually see in the media is “undocumented immigrant," but Jose Antonio is a property owner, runs his own business (employing American citizens, despite his own inability to work legally), has an elementary school in his California hometown named after him, and participates just as fully in his community as anyone with a blue passport with an eagle on the cover.

I was lucky enough to be chosen to ask a question at the end of his keynote, and I wanted to know: is he still afraid of being deported? He’d already discussed that he isn’t likely to be deported, he’s even called ICE and asked to know why he hasn’t been deported. But I wanted to know about his feelings — is there still a specter of deportation that he’s afraid of?

His answer was powerful: he isn’t afraid anymore, because he made the choice not to be. He wouldn’t be able to do his work if he were afraid. He wouldn’t be able to live if he were afraid. He didn’t go into detail on how he got rid of the fear, but he did.

It’s not that he can’t be deported at any minute. It’s just that he has better things to do.

originally posted elsenet, May 2019

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Rainbow Capitalism

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:50:29 GMT

"The first Pride was a riot." Well, no, not really. Stonewall was a riot, and some of what you may know about it is probably wrong, but that’s okay; the precursor to Pride as we know it was actually the Annual Reminder marches in Philadelphia, which started in 1965, well before Stonewall. But I digress.

The big hot button issue this year seems to be outrage with “rainbow capitalism” or “rainbow-washing." Everyone on my Facebook feed seems to be upset by companies turning their logos rainbow for June, in the same way they turn them pink for October. People rightly point out that most of these companies (Pinterest, Uber, etc.) have nothing to do with the LGBTQ community, and they just want your attention and appreciation — they’re pandering. (Apparently companies that seem related get a pass — Playbill has been doing it for years, but gays love theater, right?)

Even worse, people say, are companies that put rainbows on products to sell those products. Converse is the worst of these, if my social media feeds are to be believed — they weren’t even donating any money to LGBTQ organizations from the sale of their Pride collection (though they are now donating to OUT MetroWest and It Gets Better Project).

So…here’s my rainbow Converse. Custom-designed on their website and more expensive than their usual low-tops. I bought them before they started donating, too. I bought them because I wanted rainbow shoes.

The people who are outraged by pandering and marketing surprise me. Did they think companies were out to do anything else? Of course Converse is selling these shoes at a markup to make money. That’s what companies do. Of course Uber is throwing up rainbows, they want you to like them, which is what marketing teams do.

Honestly — I want to be pandered to. Every time I see a rainbow logo, I get excited. I came out over 20 years ago, when Absolut was the only company advertising to the gay community, and you better believe I have a more favorable opinion of Absolut as a result. They’ve been advertising in The Advocate since 1981, and if I get to choose which vodka I’m served, it’s going to be Absolut — because they’ve been talking to me for years.

The fact that every company is getting in on this now is delightful. I haven’t felt so seen by marketers in…well, ever. Budweiser UK’s line of pride cups comes in bisexual, asexual, and many other variants — heck, their rainbow one includes the black and brown stripes from Philadelphia. This is what I want to see — pride products everywhere. I don’t feel pandered to, I feel like I’m finally being recognized. My queer dollars are sought after in ways they never have been before. How is this not amazing?

(I do recognize the caveat attached to Absolut and Budweiser: the LGBTQ community has a higher rate of alcoholism than the population at large. Sober queer spaces are few and far between, and I get that this needs to be addressed.)

I’ve only been wearing my Converse shoes for a couple of days, and only to work, so nobody’s commented on them yet. But if they do, I will happily tell them that I chose to give Converse my $80 because I want to reward companies for reaching out to the LGBTQ community. As a minority, I like being courted. If Keds had released a pride line, I might have gone with them. I will reward the companies that speak to me with my cash — and I will continue donating to multiple queer social justice organizations every month, too.

originally posted elsenet, June 2019

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Somewhere New: China

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:41:21 GMT

I am currently working on planning for a trip to a new place - somewhere I know nothing about. I’m going to spend 46 hours in Beijing at the end of August.

I do have a couple of Chinese visa stamps in my passport, but they’re Transit Without Visa (TWOV) stamps, and I never left the airport - in 2012, I got from Tokyo to Mumbai via stops in Shanghai and Chengdu, which meant I had a domestic flight, but I didn’t really go to China.

I’m finding the trip planning surprisingly daunting. I’ll be there en route to a work conference in Kyoto, and I’m flying Air China — - which has already tried to make my life difficult by rearranging my flights, but I managed to turn it into a silver lining and get an extra day in Beijing.

But for some reason, I’m struggling to plan this trip. While planning this, I’ve planned trips to Ireland and Spain, and I had no trouble with those - but China is daunting me. I initially booked a Days Inn, and I’ve now switched to a Holiday Inn Express, even though both are certainly more expensive and not as good as some Chinese hotel chains or independent options. I’m also relying on guided tours to get around, and I’m telling myself it’s because I want to maximize my time and have transportation provided — but could I not just look around on my own?

I’m planning to do some solo exploration, of course - the hotel I chose is next to the Olympic Park, so I can get some lovely night shots of the Bird’s Nest, and it’s along Line 10 of the subway, so I can go to Fortune Mall and visit a cat cafe. (I’m also going to look around the mall itself; I want to see what a mall in an ostensibly communist country is like.)

I remain genuinely surprised, though, by my apprehension at planning this stay. I’m excited, of course — I’ve already downloaded a VPN app — - but it still surprises me how leery I am. (I’ve also been instructed by one of my partners that I should present myself as monogamous and heterosexual…this seems wise, and perhaps related to what’s making me nervous.)

originally posted elsenet, July 2019

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Keys, Lost and Found

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:37:33 GMT

I lose things pretty frequently. I've lost some very expensive things; I'm better at keeping sentimental things, but not great. Over the past eight months or so, I've been training specifically to reduce losing things, and it's going pretty well. I also have Tile keychains attached to a few things to help keep track of them.

When I can't lay my hands on something, I panic. If I find it in 30 seconds, I'm fine. If it takes five minutes, I'm distressed but come down quickly. Over the five minute mark, I'm having a full-on anxiety attack. I'm also training to reduce this reaction, so I can look for things more thoughtfully rather than flailing about.

Last night, I got home and looked in my purse for my keys - couldn't find them. I pulled up the Tile app and found it had last seen them two months ago, which was absurd because I'd had them the night before. We have a keypad on the garage door, so I was able to get into the house, but I couldn't find my keys. I dumped my entire purse onto my bed - still no keys.

I messaged my boyfriend, because I'd been at his house the night before, and I'd used the keys then. He looked all over, but didn't find them. Naturally, by this point, my panic was going up. Thank goodness for him, though, because he not only helped me make a list of places I'd been and what was on my keyring, but he promised to help me file lost-and-found reports and helped soothe my anxiety. I looked through my purse again, and told my wife (through tears) that I couldn't find my keys.

I managed to get to sleep last night by distracting myself with other things, and with the thought that my keys might be at work. Upon arriving this morning, though, I had no luck, and started filling out lost-and-found forms online while my boyfriend started making phone calls. I considered catching the train up to his house, just to look for myself, because I had Schroedinger's Keychain - he'd looked for them thoroughly, and they weren't at his house, but they had to be at his house, because that's where I'd last had them.

I chatted with a co-worker about my missing keys, and said I'd probably look through my purse again, even though I'd already looked three times. When I dumped it again, onto my desk, I noticed an interior pocket that I never use. By now, you can tell where this is going: of course my keys were in that pocket. They'd been there all along, through the crying and panicking and discussing and reporting.

I filled out a customer support form for Tile, because the dead device is within a one-year warranty period. The other Tiles I got at the same time are doing just fine, so this one clearly has a fault. Go figure that I didn't notice it until two months later, when I needed it. I'll be checking the app once a week or so now, just to make sure all the Tiles are still working.

So...where's the personal development here? What have I learned? Last night, my boyfriend told me that most lost property is found, but at the time, I “just knew” mine wouldn't be. He told me people lose keys every day, losing things is human, but I still thought I was a bad person. I realized that what made me feel so terrible was taking up space in the world. I have a longtime habit of trying to be unobtrusive, but I was taking up his time, I was going to take up the time of the people at the places I'd reported to, I was going to take up the time of rekeying the places I have keys to and getting new keys...losing the keys wasn't just going to affect me, it was going to affect many people, and that is why I felt so terrible.

I'm trying to learn that it's okay to take up space in the world. It's okay to need help. It's a really hard thing to learn.

But not everything that is lost will always stay lost. That $5000 pair of hearing aids I lost in 2010…those are gone. But the keys were found. That time I couldn't find my purse at a sci-fi con - it turned up after much frenzied running around the hotel. When I thought I'd left my wedding rings at a karaoke place in Takadanobaba at 2am, and went back in a panic - they'd been in a hidden pocket of my purse all along. (Maybe I should stop having hidden pockets in my purse?)
The point is, I have lots of examples of losing things, having a panic attack and crying while I search for them, and then having them turn up. They really do keep turning up.

And if they don't, I guess nothing is irreplaceable. I knew what was on my keychain and could've replaced it. I know where my wife and I got our wedding rings, and I can replace them. I should keep a better listing of what's in my purse, but it's all replaceable (if expensive - Kindle, sunglasses, etc). There is an irreplaceable sentimental item in my purse, but I can mentally work on being okay with losing sentimental things, as long as I have my health. To distract myself last night, I looked at the news, and read about the KyoAni fire. Losing my keys is no great tragedy, there are much bigger problems out there.

Of course, all this is just trying to talk myself out of neurochemical incidents like a panic attack. But I've done it before. I'm training myself to handle some things better. Other times, the chemicals will go where they go. But losing something, whether it turns up or not, is not the end of the world.

originally written elsenet, July 2019

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Hamilton Casts

Fri, 13 Jul 2018 14:48:22 GMT

For no other reason than wanting a place to stash it, the "At This Performance" lists from the two times I've seen Hamilton (so far), both at the Kennedy Center.

( First Time )

( Second Time )

And now I don't have to keep those little pieces of paper from the Playbill.

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Picking a Hotel

Wed, 11 Jul 2018 20:36:33 GMT

So my AirBNB in Tokyo is $401 for 12 nights, and is 250m from Komagome station - a great location. The trouble is the owner hasn't gotten set up with the city to operate within the new minpaku law, so I don't know if the room will actually be available by the time I get there in December. So I made a bunch of backup reservations as I browsed around alternatives, and after rejecting hostels, capsules, and far-flung choices, I have it down to three options.

Flexstay Ekoda - $611
Pros: No daily housekeeping, familiar business hotel (I've stayed at Flexstay Shinagawa), western bed, microwave/fridge, 4 min walk from Ekoda station.
Cons: Ekoda is a couple of stops from Ikebukuro station - not too far, but that's an extra ¥180 and six minute train ride each way.

Flexstay Sugamo - $701
Pros: As above for Flexstay, 7 min walk from Sugamo station which is on both JR and Toei lines.
Cons: More expensive.

Hotel Wasou - $626
Pros: Near my old apartment (so a very familiar neighborhood), near a cat cafe, decent price, convenience store nearby.
Cons: Japanese futons, longer walk to transit (10-15 mins), not a chain hotel I could be familiar with (or is that a pro?).

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Cat Cafes I Have Been To

Fri, 20 Apr 2018 17:38:43 GMT

I keep forgetting where I've been.

1. Crumbs and Whiskers DC
2. Meow Parlour
3. Charm Kitty Cafe
4. Calico Shinjuku
5. Nekorobi
6. Nyan 299
7. Nekomaru Ueno
8. Calico Kichijoji
9. NekoJaLaLa
10. Asakusa Nekoen
11. Nekobukuro
12. Nyan da Cafe

And also Cafe Gaene Myeongdong which is a dog cafe, but I really didn't enjoy it and should have gone to the cat cafe up the street.

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ER Captions for Reese

Tue, 10 Apr 2018 17:07:52 GMT

I'm watching ER for the first time. There are spoilers below the cut for a show that aired 15 years ago.
( Read more... )

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D&D Class

Fri, 08 Sep 2017 02:41:40 GMT

I Am A: Chaotic Neutral Human Wizard (5th Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-9

Dexterity-10

Constitution-14

Intelligence-12

Wisdom-12

Charisma-11

Alignment:
Chaotic Neutral A chaotic neutral character follows his whims. He is an individualist first and last. He values his own liberty but doesn't strive to protect others' freedom. He avoids authority, resents restrictions, and challenges traditions. A chaotic neutral character does not intentionally disrupt organizations as part of a campaign of anarchy. To do so, he would have to be motivated either by good (and a desire to liberate others) or evil (and a desire to make those different from himself suffer). A chaotic neutral character may be unpredictable, but his behavior is not totally random. He is not as likely to jump off a bridge as to cross it. Chaotic neutral is the best alignment you can be because it represents true freedom from both society's restrictions and a do-gooder's zeal. However, chaotic neutral can be a dangerous alignment when it seeks to eliminate all authority, harmony, and order in society.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Wizards are arcane spellcasters who depend on intensive study to create their magic. To wizards, magic is not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art. When they are prepared for battle, wizards can use their spells to devastating effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. The wizard's strength is her spells, everything else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards. In addition, over time a wizard learns to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are improved in some other way. A wizard can call a familiar- a small, magical, animal companion that serves her. With a high Intelligence, wizards are capable of casting very high levels of spells.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (16)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (19)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (22)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (24)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (25)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXX (8)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXX (7)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Chaos --- XXXXXXXXXX (10)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXX (9)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Evil ---- X (1)

Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Halfling - XXXXXX (6)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Half-Orc - XXXXXX (6)

Class:
Barbarian - XXXXXX (6)
Bard ------ XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Cleric ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Druid ----- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Fighter --- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Monk ------ XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Paladin --- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Ranger ---- XX (2)
Rogue ----- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Sorcerer -- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Wizard ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (16)

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Fire Ball at Ohio State Fair

Thu, 27 Jul 2017 03:27:28 GMT

I haven't been ignoring DW, I just have failed to get any words out lately.

Some words that I say a lot, though, are that non-fixed amusement rides scare the crap out of me. State fairs and the like, you know? I don't care how much you inspect them, shit happens to portable rides. People are more likely to get injured on portable rides.

So this comment about this year's Ohio State Fair, published couple of days ago, does not comfort me much:

Inspectors are responsible for checking all rides before, during and after set-up. Not only do they check if the ride is properly constructed, but inspectors will also check safety systems and restraint mechanisms.

“We’re looking at several different things,” Michael Vartorella, chief inspector of amusement ride safety for the agriculture department, told The Dispatch for the Tuesday story. “We look at it when it’s static, or when it’s actually on the truck. As they put it up we’re watching them do it, looking at it two or three times. When they are actually up themselves, we are going to operate them to make sure they are meeting its specifications.”

Plainclothes inspectors return after the fair opens, agriculture department officials say, to make surprise visits to ensure height and weight requirements for riders are enforced.

That's all well and good until SHIT LIKE THIS happens. One guy died and seven were injured, some critically, when Fire Ball fell the fuck apart. The video on that link is horrifying to me.

So this part? Also not comforting:

Michael Vartorella, chief ride inspector of the Amusement Ride Safety Division, said there were no red flags when inspectors examined the ride earlier.

"It was inspected at couple of different stages and it was signed off today," he told reporters.

It fell apart!! No way are you getting me on non-fixed amusement rides after this.

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Grad School Update

Fri, 19 May 2017 16:50:08 GMT

Pulled off an A- this semester. I am, frankly, astonished - with a death in the family and a class that I really and truly did not like, I can't believe I got an A-. Of course, that takes my GPA down to 3.95, so I'm a bit disappointed as well...not that I expected to keep the 4.0, but I would still have liked to!

Unfortunately my plan to graduate in Spring 2018 may be kaput. I wanted to take an online Museum Studies class at GWU over the summer, which I've done before through the consortium. I applied for it back around registration time, and since I've done it before I figured everything would be fine. Consortium registrations process later than resident registrations, so I only just got handed over to GWU - only to find out the class is restricted to people in their online certificate program. On-campus GWU students can't take it, and consortium students definitely can't. The only summer class at GMU I might have been interested in, Witchcraft, is maxed out, met two nights a week on campus (no thank you), and just...nope. So no summer class for me, which means potentially delaying graduation unless I double up in spring.

I'm not doubling up in fall because that's my thesis class. It's called "Trials and History," and we've been told we'll have to pick a US criminal trial from before 1960 to research. I'm considering Velvalee Dickinson. But even spring might be too hard to double up, as I've never taken two classes in a single semester before - we'll see. I am pretty sure that after my thesis, I will need one more history class and one more applied history class, and then I will be done.

Not that I can tell, though, because the degree evaluation website shows me nothing of use. In late March I emailed the department secretary to ask why my concentration and such hadn't been listed. She has spent two months trying to get the registrar's office to do the thing, dammit and hopefully it'll show up after cron runs tonight. When I pointed out that a few other things hadn't been listed either, she found the previous secretary's file on me and discovered I'd asked for them to be listed in February 2016. So...kinda slow there, but this secretary is awesome and getting right to it.

I'm going to get this MA, though. It may take an extra semester or two, we'll see. Then I plan to take a few years off before getting a Ph.D. in Museum Studies from the University of Leicester (predominantly online), which will be fun.

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About Jordan Peterson and Pronouns

Mon, 15 May 2017 14:47:33 GMT

A friend sent me this video of Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson talking about pronouns. My friend asked for my thoughts. I shared them, and I thought I'd relay them here, too.

My overarching impression is "wow, you're really irate about this, aren't you? why has this got you so damn hopped up?" And I see from Wikipedia that he's been attacked for his views, so I get that he's angry in response, but for me, I watch the video and I just want to give him a lollipop and a stuffed animal to cuddle so he'll calm down.

His argument was fatally wounded for me when he stated "if you're a left-wing ideologue, the probability that you're respectable is zero." So he's already stating that he finds some people completely undeserving of respect without knowing anything about them but their political beliefs, and thus I think he's spewing rubbish.

I mean, he's perfectly welcome to disregard people's pronouns, Canadian Human Rights Act not withstanding. I'm perfectly welcome to think he's an asshole for behaving that way!

The main basis of his argument is that we don't get to decide our own identities. I say that's not true. He says "if you're a father, then that's part of your identity." What about deadbeat dads? They have no interest in being a father. It's not part of their life, it's not part of their identity. You can't force a part of someone's identity on them - they decide if they're going to be a father or not.

Same for a baker, which he also mentions. If you got a job at a bakery but you really want to be an opera singer, then "baker" isn't part of your identity at all, it's just what you do to pay the bills while you go to voice lessons. "Singer" is part of your identity because that's what MATTERS to you. Identity is subjective because it's about what YOU decide is an important part of your life.

And you know what? If someone identifies as an elf, that's fine with me. It's no skin off my nose. I may think they're a bit odd, I may smile to myself, but it doesn't HURT me to treat them how they want to be treated. Same goes for anyone wanting gender-neutral pronouns. It does me no harm at all to do what they want, as best as I can remember. Sometimes I slip up, sometimes I forget, but I'm going to do my best to treat people HOW THEY WANT TO BE TREATED. That's what's respectful.

If respect to someone means using their pronouns, I'll use them. It doesn't hurt me. I'm able to conceive of a world where I can do things that are a little hard for me, that make other people happy. That's about the sum of it for me.

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Tue, 09 May 2017 19:15:47 GMT

I am pretty sure I've been posting a lot of negative things lately. I'm pretty sure the last 47 days have been deserving of posting negative things.

But I want to say good things, too.

The Avon Walk, against all odds, went well. I put together a tent assignment system at 10am Saturday, which is a damn fine achievement, considering I was basically handed a list of participants and an empty field. This meant I spent more time sitting at a table in Lounge 39 than slinging gear bags and putting up tents, but given that it rained nearly all day, I'm okay with how that worked out.

Got some other fun stuff coming up in a couple of weeks, including vacation, so that'll be good.

I will try to post more good things soon. I really do want to.

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In which I am older than dirt

Wed, 26 Apr 2017 22:28:44 GMT

At the GMU Rathskellar.

Me: *points to 'you cannot buy alcohol if born after' sticker*
Me: Wow, 1996, really?! That makes me feel old!
Student working at bar: Haha, yeah!
Me: I graduated high school in 1997...wow!
Student working at bar: You graduated in 1997?!?!??! That's REALLY old!!!!

Sigh.

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sneezes

Mon, 17 Apr 2017 22:55:14 GMT

I think I've developed seasonal allergies. Or maybe it's a cold.

I'm super snuffly, my sinuses hurt like the dickens, and I'm sneezing. My nose is occasionally itchy. It seems like a cold, but then I remembered I went through this last year - around this time, I think.

But I haven't had seasonal allergies all my life, so I have no way to know for sure. The snuffly showed up when I awoke Sunday morning, and the internet (Diagnoser of All Things) shows that sudden-onset means a cold. But I haven't been around anybody who is sick, and people I know in the mid-Atlantic area are complaining about the trees...which would tend to mean allergies. But then, I spend a lot of time indoors.

Aside from taking DayQuil/NyQuil/Sudafed, I'm at a loss. I'm just trying to make the sinus pain stop, make my brain function correctly, and hopefully not getting anybody I know sick in the process.

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Crosspost check

Thu, 06 Apr 2017 17:07:45 GMT

Checking to see if DW inserts the footer on LJ xpost this time.

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Giving Dreamwidth a try

Thu, 06 Apr 2017 16:06:33 GMT

I've had this DW account for ages without using it, but it seems like it's finally time to jettison LJ and come over here. I really want to use WP, but WP.com isn't flexible enough for my tastes, and I quit running my own WP a while back because it was too big a pain.

Not that many people read this, but here I am, now.

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